What Are Cookies? (The Non-Edible Kind)
Cookies are small text files stored on your device when you visit a website. They’re not cursed (usually). They help websites remember things like your preferences and whether you’ve visited before.
We use approximately the bare minimum.
Cookies We Use
Strictly Necessary Cookies
These cookies are required for the site to function. You can’t opt out of them without breaking things, which, honestly, is on-brand for us but still not recommended.
| Cookie | Purpose | Duration |
|---|---|---|
_pk_id.* | Matomo analytics visitor ID | 13 months |
_pk_ses.* | Matomo session tracking | 30 minutes |
That’s It
No, seriously. That’s the whole list.
We don’t use:
- ❌ Google Analytics cookies
- ❌ Facebook/Meta tracking pixels
- ❌ Advertising cookies of any kind
- ❌ Third-party social media cookies
- ❌ Retargeting cookies
- ❌ Whatever new surveillance cookie Big Tech invented this week
Why So Few Cookies?
Because our analytics platform (Matomo) is self-hosted on our own infrastructure. Your data never leaves our servers. No big tech company gets to know you visited us. Your cursed browsing habits are between you and us alone.
We believe in privacy the way we believe in chaos: absolutely and without compromise.
Third-Party Cookies
When you visit fuck.markets (our store, which is a separate external site), that site may set its own cookies under its own policy. We don’t control those — fuck.markets is its own sovereign entity of chaos.
Similarly, loading Google Fonts may involve Google’s standard cookie behavior. We use display=swap and rel=preconnect to minimize this, but Google’s gonna Google.
Managing Cookies
You can control cookies through your browser settings:
- Chrome: Settings → Privacy and Security → Cookies
- Firefox: Settings → Privacy & Security → Cookies
- Safari: Preferences → Privacy → Manage Website Data
- Edge: Settings → Cookies and site permissions
You can also block all cookies, but then websites stop working and you’re basically browsing the void. Which, again, is on-brand.
Cookie Consent
Because we only use strictly necessary analytics cookies via a privacy-respecting, self-hosted platform, and because we don’t do any tracking, advertising, or profiling, we operate under the legitimate interest basis for our minimal cookie usage.
If you’d prefer to opt out of even our anonymous analytics, you can:
- Enable “Do Not Track” in your browser (we respect it)
- Use a browser extension like uBlock Origin
- Simply exist in a state of digital non-participation (the void respects no cookies)
Changes to This Hex
We may update this Cookie Hex if we add new cookies (unlikely) or change analytics providers (even more unlikely). Any changes will be posted here with a fresh “baked” date.
Questions?
If you have questions about our cookie practices, or if you just want to talk about cookies (the edible kind), reach out:
Email: cookies@cursedbrands.com (we also accept cookie recipes)